For Mother’s Day Today, Kiss* And Hug Your Mum and Say “I am sorry Mummy.”
In my culture, we take the right hand of our parent and kiss it to ask for forgiveness and show respect. We then hug and kiss on both cheeks.
You will notice the reaction from your mum will be different than when you say, “Mummy. I love you. Happy Mother’s Day.”
You will be surprised that children can already show an inability to apologise to people from a very young age. Every time a child in my class decided that he or she wouldn’t apologise for the mistake made. My first reaction to that was to wait, as if the child would come to his or her senses and do the right thing. But I soon realised that I was not teaching it right.
Like the song goes “It’s really hard to say I’m sorry” or “Sorry seems to be the hardest word’. It is difficult to say “I am sorry. Mummy.”
“If you think you can or if you think you can’t, you are right.” Henry Ford
It is not all right not to apologise for what you did wrong. What if you do not know what you did was wrong? I call that Genuine Mistakes. (read my article on this here.) If you don’t know what you did was wrong, then it should be all right not to have to apologise. That’s acceptable for anyone. But not for parents who want to teach the child a lesson about apologising.
Handling A Genuine Mistake (In a social situation)
In the growing up years, every journey takes on a learning curve. Learning takes place only with experience and that means working with the environment, social or physical. If you spot a mistake in your child and expect an apology from that, the child needs to acknowledge that it is a mistake. If it is a genuine mistake, the child may not want to apologise. A small but very important step is for you to explain why You Think it is wrong. You have to be sincere and work carefully towards reaching out to the child’s mind without causing any hurt. Take your time to allow the child to speak up why he or she thinks it is right. Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, we tend to get upset and angry. The child has all the time to grow up. Growing up does not happen in a battlefield. Use every other moment you have in your day to address the matter. Take your time.
The goal then is to create an environment for expression so you can have the opportunity to address the matter. The child learn by processing information from situations and the experiences upon the environment. If the process is disrupted, learning cannot take place.
If the child does apologise, give praise for the grace and positive attitude. The child clearly understands the need to maintain harmony in a relationship with his or her peer group.
What Is A Genuine Mistake? (in language)
