Eversince I started working on my book Parenting Inspired! Follow The Path, To Where The Child Loves To Grow, I have begun to see that happiness is a natural process of life whereas sadness is the unnatural part. Nobody likes to be or feel unhappy. So why should unhappiness be natural or be part of our lives?
Do you know that most of the time when parents talk about growth, they either feel guilty or unfulfilled? Either way, when you worry about your children, you are bringing along unhappy thoughts, feelings and emotions. This is so unfair to you because as you are giving so much to your kids, who is taking care of you?
I have randomly selected some posts from Facebook group iPostForParents, hopefully to get you started on finding your happiness.
- Be Consistent
In the blink of an eye, time flies.
At the stroke of midnight, another day passes by.
I’m not worried about how time flies or how the clock ticks.
I teach my students and children not to worry or be quarrelsome. I show them how to think ahead of themselves because they are so afraid to grow up. They fear being scolded and looked down upon by people out there. Who are the people out there? They are the parents who talk about their kids to the retail shoe seller, bus driver, ice cream man, aunties, uncles, teachers, doctors…. etc.
Do you know how many people from different walks of life we have talked about at home? So many. The singers, actors, politicians, scholars, religious teachers…the list is endless.
They see what you do. You share with your friends whom they don’t know about them.
They do not know what to do if they meet these people. Yet, you tell them to be careful of strangers, don’t you? Do your kids really know all your friends, the ice-cream man and the teachers. No they don’t. These people don’t live with you and are not family to you. They are at best “my mum’s friends” but they are still strangers. On the one hand, you want your kids to be brave. On the other hand, you want your kids to be careful. Be consistent when you advice your kids so they may understand your message.
If you manage to get a discount at a shop, tell your kid how it happens. Don’t just let them see or hear you say ,” wah. Mummy so happy. I got this for $10. So cheap. I bargain lah.” What did you do? You did not just bargain, did you? You were smart. Teach that too.
#tips Be consistent.
- Be Faithful, We Shall All Get Old One Day And Die
In case you’re wondering if tomorrow will ever come, remember you’ve survived today and still have a lot left for tomorrow . Sleep will take care of your tired body. Silence will relax your tired mind.
After spending half an hour massaging mum’s tired feet, I was reminded of the first 2 years when I took care of my daughter’s tender feet.
The emotions are different. I am less anxious. With an adult, I don’t need to plan for the 11 p.m. last breastfeeding time . I can tell her to lay down and enjoy the massage. She does not vomit. She will tell me if she feels pain. My baby will play with me and I will tease her. With an adult, we talk a lot or at least I talk a lot. Haha.
I am worried if I won’t get enough sleep. Even though I don’t have as much freedom, I don’t need to watch her every move. An adult does not create a mess as much as a toddler. (With the exception of teenagers and husbands.)
What are the similar things they share:
1. You have to watch them (adult and toddler/baby) when they walk in case they lose balance.
2. You have to attend to them in the toilet.
3. You have to shower them.
4. You have wash their clothes
5. You have to change their diapers.
6. You have to make their beds
7. You have to clean their rooms
8. You have to help them put on their clothes.
9. You have to dry them after showers
19. You have to pick up the phone for them, dial the numbers for them and read to them because they can’t see.
20. You have to take note of their favourite meals and drinks.
When we are old, we will become like the child. #faith It teaches you about life. So honoured.
- Relax and Sleep.
Tomorrow will come. You will wake up to it, greet the morning sunshine and prepare to enjoy the next day.
Accumulate your wealth whilst you’re happy with your life not when you’re worried someone else will steal your dreams. Your heart health is everything you have to keep you going. Take away those toxic people from your life and prepare yourself to live a better life.
- Happiness is always waiting for you
From teaching to coaching adults. From home to office. From private to public…..I raise my bar step by step. Are you also raising your bar? Are you diligent, consistent and patient? Are you willing to give your best.
Test and assess the value you give to your clients. And ask for what you deserve.
Success is not a destination. Don’t stop now. Keep on going. Happiness is always waiting for you behind that door and it will not close until you have entered.
5. Be The Embodiment Of Strength
“It’s too late to change your career. ” I didn’t need a career. I want a life.
10 years ago, I was sitting alone in a corner of my room while my daughter was sleeping. 12 a.m. I logged on to the computer and started teaching Mandarin again.
My husband had no job. You know when you’ve promised to marry, it does not matter how much he has anymore. When life gets hard, you don’t walk away. You persevere. True. On the outside, you see happy couples holding hands. But do you know why they hold hands? It’s because they have hugged each other so tightly when life is rough.
I can bet you will never want to be seen unhappy, depressed and broke. Because you have your dignity.
Believe me, there’s no honour is walking away from a problem. It’s not the easiest road to travel.
But you have this reserve. It’s called dignity.
So lift your head up high and don’t make excuses for yourself or your family. Make it happen.
- Be Real And Authentic
In my parenting talk, I have a slide that says “even a cleaner can raise a child to become successful”. I sense a few in the audience were uncomfortable with the word cleaner.
People’s value judgement on job status has long become the reason why so many parents are still struggling to break free and raise successful and happy kids. You dare not tell that you don’t earn enough money for the week. Or you are struggling to make ends meet so you decide to be a salesman. Or you cannot find a job so you’re back to school again.
If your child were to ask you how you raise him or her? Which part of your life story will you tell and which will you keep private?
The only life your child knows is the one he or she is experiencing with you.