Let us assume that your children have this knack of passing exams. So what do they learn? Knowledge and how to pass exams.
When they leave school, they carry with them the same mindset. How to set goals and get a head start in anything they do in life. It’s the same frame of mind.
They have learnt to set goals to pass exams in school; they learn to set goals to win in life.
Yet we’ve seen how people respond differently to situations in life. The undergrad or graduate who steals and cheats, the doctor who lied to his patients, the lifeguard who rapes a teacher and there are also people who always succeed.
Why do smart people get into trouble or do stupid things anyway?
Although it’s true your child can pass all these exams at school with flying colours, they may still fail in life. If you had known this, would you still want your child to pass exams with flying colours or enjoy school?
So this is where education can teach your child the wrong life lessons. The child learns to determine what is good and bad based on the results when indeed education is a process of creating new perspectives so we can live better lives.
What can we do?
If your child has just completed the exams, ask him or her this simple question.
Dismiss answers like “my tutor or teacher taught me”. Help your child to recognise the value in education as soon as the exams are over.
Don’t wait for the results to arrive to congratulate or chide them. That’s what we normally do. It’ll then be a different story. You’ll lose the moment.
Unlike a competition where you’ll learn the results almost immediately, there’s a cooling off period between taking the exams and getting the results. This is the time for reflection, teaching them the value of effort and gainful sacrifices.
What else you can do to help your children?
Let me share this with you instead of advising you what to do.
I took it all in my stride because the environment mu child lives in will be different. She sees me as their role model. Is it all right to show my weak sides? I think it is as long as I am willing to admit that I am imperfect. She can understand.
They only want you to be there for them. I had maids yet my daughter is still very attached to us. During fasting months, I woke up for my family. My maid didn’t attend to us at 4 am. She looked after herself. After we had all eaten and were ready for work at 6 am, she helped with the cleaning and washing up.
This is an example of how I held my own and take charge. I stay grounded as a parent. Give yourself time to nurture your family because your kids will appreciate your sacrifices.