Reading my facebook page and this news brings sadness to me. Robin Williams found dead from suspected suicide. He was 63 years old. I thought this could just be a mistake. How could this be? I cannot fathom that a man so talent and gift, could be driven to suicide because of depression. I searched for more related news. They all read the same thing. It is true, another life is taken today by his own hands.
How Does Depression Feel Like To The Person?
I can tell you because I have been there. I am writing using ‘he’, but I am addressing both the female and male sexes.
For the person who suffers from depression, he carries a ton of bricks everyday wherever he goes. He garners a smile only when he tries to brush his teeth, that means he is really trying hard to smile.
The nights last for as long as the hours in the day. The hurt feels even stronger when everyone is asleep. No one can tell the difference between his laughter and frown anymore. He plays with his emotions so cleverly that it has become his art, a talent that becomes his source of income. The many years that he might have suffered from crying for no apparent reasons have taught him to stay closer to his own space, until there is none left.
How many times he must have tried to pen down his feelings, only to erase it over and over again because it will only show his vulnerabilities. He could not bring himself to speak of his depression, an egocentric approach to solving his personal problems have left him homeless, inside. He becomes very good at what he does, telling jokes and becomes the comedian. Every now and then, you see him acting like a fool and the eyes are telling, he wants YOU to be happy because he knows what sadness bring. He wants YOU to feel no pain because he knows what pain feels like, pain that does not bleed physically, but probably the same kind of pain that is felt by those who lose their sons, daughters and parents during wars. It is excruciatingly painful.
The worst thing for the person who is depressed is to be told he needs psychiatric treatment. It is not a mental problem. Neither is it emotional. It is a condition. It needs remedial therapy, not a cure. It can be overcome but it takes time. It has to be addressed, to the right person, who can connect with you at the deeper level.
Your Child And Depression
Here are some ways to help your child avoid becoming depressed.
1. Teach your child to be strong emotionally. How? Talk about feelings about situations at school and at home.
2. If your child has something that bothers his feelings and mind, listen and listen intently.
3. Do not allow your child to grow up NOT knowing how to deal with emotional problems.
4. Liberate your child through your prayers, songs, hugs and kisses.We are so confused ourselves about liberation and freedom. Know the difference. “You can go to the movies, but you may not.” It is freedom, but it is not liberation.
5. Allow your child to utter words like, “Mum, I am …. I feel….I want….. etc.” It empowers them to feel the confidence.
6. Do not live your dreams through your child. You can guide them to live it, but he may not want it. Do not impose it upon the person.
7. If you do feel very strongly about your belief, allow yourself to be vulnerable. You are not strong because of who you are, but because of what you believe in.
8. Write, read, speak about your journey to success. The element of stress and struggles that goes along with your success is as important as the result itself.
Your love for your child is unconditional, so if there is any time to teach your child to speak to you about his problems, it is AT Anytime. You can’t brush him off . You must not.
There is a difference with sad and feeling sad. When a child is feeling sad, he is quiet. When he is sad, he tells you so in many different ways, complains, throwing toys etc. He is physically showing it. You address the two differently. A feeling takes time to manifest itself on a person’s behaviour. Your child should be allowed to feel sad, in order to explore the different feelings he has. If you are not able to help your child with his feelings of sadness, approach the school for help because it can affect his studies and his social life at school. You are demonstrating support for your child when you do this. It is not embrassing, if it does, it is only because you are too proud to admit you need help yourself.
Do not deny your child the chance to grow into a world that makes him feel belonged. His success and failures depend as much upon his ability to overcome stress as his ability to pass exams.
Some Important Feedback Your Kids Want To Hear
1. It is not your fault.
2. You can do better.
3. How do you feel about this task?
4. Thank you ….. (mention name)
5. You are welcome.
6. Can I come into your room?
7. Would you like to join us for breakfast?
Practice habits that nuture your child’s presence in this world. Speak to them in a tone that you want people to speak to you. Be kind, gentle and most importantly be present.
Rest In Peace:
If there is one thing a depressed person wants from the world is to make them feel happy. I wish Mr. Robin Williams had come to Asia to share his life with us. He would have felt the love we have for him and his work. The chance of him feeling loved and wanted by the rest of the world so far east might just save his life.